i sit here and wonder
confused and afraid
i sat there as you raged
unaware what triggered this explosion
we were having a civil discussion
as you pounded your fist on my desk
the fear gripped my soul
the thunder of your actions
sent lighting bolts through my being
in total shock i sat there
your face turned bright red
and the flames of your anger seared my face
the heat of your words
melted my skin
dumbfounded i sat there
unable to move
your words made no sense
but were thrown like lances
piercing my heart and limbs
you calmed your self and left
and i sat there emotionally bleeding
all over my desk
fear ceased my inner self
my body shook and trembled
ashamed to just sit there i wept
my body reacted in tension
my heart raced surging blood 
with such fierceness that my brain throbbed
bewildered, afraid, i collapsed
sobbing uncontrollably
i phoned my wife
for reassurance and direction
she advised me to go home and rest
until she could join me
i did but the cyclone of events
filled my being and the terror did not subside
from the clouds of anger of injustice
the rain of tears poured forth from my body
the winds of sorrow chilled my soul
the inability to cleanse my mind abated rest or relaxation
my body revolted in accordance
head, stomach, bowels churned in anguish
all over an unknown
innocence is no protection
from the felony of abuse

i prayed for me and you to find help
but even God's words could not 
stop the emotional hemorrhaging

i sit here with future lost
wandering in the devastation
of the empty shells 
in the city of self
looking for some trinket of worth
to help rebuild my home

i know there are my loved ones
willing to help
but i am afraid to accept
for it would open the door
through which the shadow could creep

in the darkness i see no shadows
in silence i hear no lies
in death there is no more pain

i am a tree
i have tried to grow straight and tall
i have sheltered the ground
feed the animals
given fruit sweet and bright
and now there is an axe man
cutting at my core

i had hoped for more
but maybe my ashes can
feed the next generation